Last Saturday my husband and I did something we hadn’t done in quite some time and that was go out on a date. With the chaos of my college graduation and the holidays behind us some quality time away from the kids to focus on us was much needed. It had been two months since we had a date and during that time our daily routines and preparation for the holidays had consumed us and we weren’t stopping to take a moment to appreciate what we had in each other. I realized it was time after I started snapping at him because our computer didn’t work. It wasn’t his fault it didn’t work but for some reason made him a target for my anger. At that moment I realized we needed to do something about this. This was a turning point for me. Normally, I would have let this fester and continue to make him my target until I turned something minor into a huge fight. I feel like our relationship has recharged since our date on Saturday and we have made a commitment to have a date night at least once every two months.
While we made plans for our date things didn’t go exactly as planned. We decided to drive an hour away to Milwaukee to visit one of our favorite bars and then try a restaurant we hadn’t been to before. My parents had graciously offered to watch our kids for us but they were going to be in Milwaukee during the day so the kids rode with us where we exchanged the kids at a park and ride. Our first stop was Blu at The Pfister Hotel in downtown Milwaukee. We have been visiting this bar a few times a year for about 8 years. The bar is located on the 23rd floor of the hotel and has sweeping views of Lake Michigan as well as the city. The timing of our visit was well planned as we were able to sip on cocktails while watching the sunset over Lake Michigan. The romantic atmosphere of the bar is what brings us back. We are able to have a conversation with each other and we don’t have to worry about sloppy drunks splashing us with their drinks. We had plans to eat at a restaurant down the block however the restaurant was packed so we walked back down to The Pfister to eat at Mason Street Grill. We didn’t have reservations so we had to sit in the bar which was probably better than sitting in the dining room as there was a band playing as we ate.
What got me thinking since our date on Saturday was that the dates which are most memorable are those that are not over planned and we just live in the moment. Some of the worst dates we have were because I had unrealistic expectations or expected perfection. I have had this idea in my head for years that romance equaled my husband orchestrating some elaborate date with some sort of “wow” factor. I am going to blame this on shows like The Bachelor that focus on elaborate dates with helicopter rides, being serenaded by Train, or having a romantic date someplace exotic. In reality this isn’t romance, because it is assistants, interns and producers planning these elaborate dates using the television network’s money. People can hardly be surprised when these relationships don’t survive after the show is over because the couple is forced into reality where every date isn’t an elaborate adventure. This type of scenario only leads to a romanticized idea that most men can't live up to. If my husband is reading this post, this is the point i where I expect my husband to start chuckling or gloating because he realizes he has been right all these years. Yes, I am admitting in writing that I was wrong and that all dates don’t need to be carried out with some grand romantic gesture for them to actually be romantic. Simple is actually better most of the time. Walking down the street with my husband holding hands, sneaking a kiss and hearing the sounds of Snow Patrol blaring from one of the bars we walked was pretty great. It is these moments that remind me why I fell in love with him.
