I am convinced that perfect holidays are complete bullshit perpetuated by Pinterest. I love the holiday season. Every year I get big ideas of doing grand and wonderful things as a family and every year I am disappointed. The fact of the situation is that I have these expectations of a perfect holiday and I put too much pressure on my family to live up to this. After an unsuccessful attempt at holiday fun two weeks ago, I decided to embrace holiday imperfection.
Two weeks ago, we decided to go see the holiday train as it came through Milwaukee. We took the kids out to dinner, stopped for coffee and headed to the train station. Before we even arrived at the train station my son announced he had to pee. Well we were nowhere near a bathroom so he was told he was going to have to hold it for a bit longer. As we approached the train station, it was clear parking was going to be a challenge. My hubby dropped us off a few blocks away from the station as he thought we could navigate a little quicker by foot. We walked to the train station and the closer we got the more I realized there was no way we were getting in there to use the bathroom. I texted my hubby to let him know I was walking down to a hotel a few blocks down to get him to a bathroom. On the way there, my daughter tripped and fell. She was in tears, while my son was whining he "had to pee right now." We made our way inside only to find the ground level restrooms locked. We made our way to the main lobby and finally found bathrooms. The lobby looked like a ghost town and I caught a disapproving look from an employee cleaning. At that point, I didn't care as I needed to get this kid to a bathroom now. We met back up with my husband at the train station and realized that it was going to be hard to see anything. We were packed tightly in with a large crowd. I am thankful the weather was mild that night. It became apparent the train was running late and I did some searching and it was 45 minutes late. We decided to scrap the plan and head home because the kids were whining and it was a less than exciting experience. I was so frustrated with the situation and on the way home I said I was done with Christmas even though I had big plans for two weeks later.
Fast forward to the weekend before Christmas. We decided to do a 5k run with the running store I shop at. The kids surprisingly got out of bed without much complaining and made our way to the running store. Within the first half mile, the girls were already fading. My hubby stayed back with them and Sean and I continued with the rest of the group. Sean and I had a nice time running together and John and the girls followed behind shortly after. From there we went to the Mitchell Park Domes. It was beyond busy that morning and we seemed to be done quicker than I expected. We headed for lunch and later for some shopping. We had enough points for a free hotel stay so once we were done shopping, we headed to the hotel to get checked in and settled. We let the kids chill for a bit before we headed out for Holiday Lites at the Miller Brewing Company. The kids were grumpy and when we go there they were upset this was outside. I was starting to become frustrated but realized that it had been a busy day and I needed to cut them some slack. By the time we actually saw the lights there were in much better moods. I had two beer samples while the rest of the family had soda. That concluded our day of holiday fun. It may not be perfect for fun but it was perfect for me. It was just the five of us and we had fun.
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| Lunchtime fun |
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| Lunchtime fun. I was even brave enough to go without makeup here. I'm still here to talk about it too. |
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| I have no idea why she is making this face but it sums up our family and our less than perfect life. |
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When it comes to actual Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, I could do without. By the time I get to that point, I am just ready for it to be over. There are reminders of sadness on those days. When I was 14, my grandpa died on Christmas Eve. It's traumatic to be dozing off in a hospital waiting room and being awakened by the sounds of your grandma sobbing after losing the love of her life. It has been over 20 years since that day but it's one of those situations, you just don't forget. My husband has already lost both of his parents and it is heartbreaking to see your hubby visiting his parents on Christmas at the cemetery. There is nothing I can do to ease this pain for him this time of year except to hold his hand when he reaches out. This year was no different as I saw him and my son just standing there having their moment at the cemetery. The girls weren't strong enough to get out of the car so I sat and held their hands while they cried.
Aside from the moments of sadness yesterday, we had one of the best Christmases in a long time. We woke up to the sound of the kids discovering the presents under the tree. Sean woke Mackenzie up in his typical fashion. Mackenzie grumbled about how tired she was but got up anyway. There were no fancy electronics under the tree this year and frankly we kept gift giving pretty low key this year. The kids were grateful for what was given to them this year and I think they are realizing that the things that can be bought in a store are not the things that mean the most. The things that matter most are the experiences we have together as a family. My oldest cried when she received her "big" present this year. It was a ticket to see Idina Menzel in Chicago. She is already talking about how we are going to spend a summer day in Chicago, stay in a hotel and see the concert together as a family. We later went to see my parents and sister and when we were done there, came back home to hang out. The kids and John played legos while I took advantage of the nice weather and went running. We had dinner together as a family and watched Elf. It was truly a lovely Christmas.
As I reflect on this Christmas season, I realize that spending time together and counting our blessings is far more important than the other stuff we think we have to get done for the holiday. I don't need to make fancy cookies to share with guests. It's ok to not send Christmas cards if I don't want to. It's ok to do all my Christmas shopping online and buy gift cards for people if that's what they really want. From now on, when Christmas overwhelms me I am going to remember the religious reason we celebrate and take a moment to be thankful for my little family. I am vowing to not get wrapped up in meaningless holiday stuff if it doesn't help me grow as a person or help others. If we are a bit imperfect, I can accept this. I would rather be imperfect and real than being a family that is something we are not. So, for all of you families out there feeling overwhelmed that your house doesn't look like the pictures posted on Pinterest, let it go. Embrace imperfection and stay true to yourself. Hope you all had a fabulous holiday.
