Being married and having kids is a lot of fun. There are times, however, when balancing marriage and family challenges the strongest marriages. Last week was one of those weeks for us. There were more tantrums from the kids than normal and there were three nights that either my husband or I was gone in the evening. We are also preparing to sell our house, start building a new house, and move (possibly twice) all within the next 8 months. Overwhelmed is a good way to describe how I was feeling.
There were situations with the kids last week that drove us to the edge. Let me just say that dealing with a pre-teen daughter is a daunting task. We had the great sisterly war of 2012 the other night. Mackenzie pushed her sister because she didn’t like the way she was coloring with sidewalk chalk in the driveway. That ended the outside playtime for her. She of course got mad and told us to never talk to her again. The bad part of this was that I found a note that said “I hate you” under my pillow that night. Yep, that one hurt. I am trying to be understanding because I was there once and at that age everything is some sort of tragedy. There is nothing a parent can say or do to make it better. After getting a taste of what is to come, I have a new appreciation for what my parents dealt with while my sister and I were growing up.
Saturday night when we finally About 30 minutes after our son went to bed on Saturday night he threw temper tantrum for over an hour. We thought he had calmed down so we decided it was time to get some sleep and then he started up again. I spent about 30 minutes with him in the living room trying to get him to calm down so the rest of the house wasn’t awakened.
Our marriage and taking time for us was the last thing on our mind this week. My husband and I are pretty good about making time to have a real conversation with each other at the end of each day. We also try to take time to go on a dates regularly. This helps to keep us connected. My mom has always been the biggest supporter of us having time for dates because she knows how important it is for a marriage. This week our conversations were more matter of fact and an exchange of information. It felt like we just existed in the same space and had no real connection. This is a horrible feeling and I wondered where we had taken a wrong turn. I then realized we were spending more time criticizing each other in regards to how we handled the kids this week instead of actually supporting each other. We both have areas we can improve on when it comes to handling the kids and can probably learn from each other.
By the time I finally went to bed on Saturday I felt defeated. My husband was already sleeping soundly so venting to him wasn’t an option. I needed something to snap me out of this funk or I would spend much of the night worrying and thinking. I sat in the dark looking at pictures from our last family vacation to Florida on my ipad. You know what, it actually helped. I couldn’t help but smile while looking at those pictures and remembering all the fun we had on that trip. I am also going to take some advice I have received from some of my friends (you know who you are) and just keep swimming. This feeling isn’t going to last forever and in the end learned something from this week. I also take comfort that Saturday is date day.
No comments:
Post a Comment